


A Good Riddle Reveals the Asker

by sorion



Series: 512 Plus [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Character Interaction, Character Study, M/M, Mention of canon-typical violence, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28875177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorion/pseuds/sorion
Summary: Ten years in prison is a long time, and Oswald and Edward need to rebuild their empire.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: 512 Plus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140329
Comments: 14
Kudos: 74





	A Good Riddle Reveals the Asker

**Author's Note:**

> Starts hours after 512.

**512 Plus a Few Hours**

Ed was in his old room, standing in front of his old closet with all his old clothes still on their hangers as if he'd never left. Well, that wasn't quite correct. Someone had put all his suits in clothing bags to preserve them. Frankly, Ed was surprised anyone had thought of that or kept anything in the first place.

Since he had to wait, he decided that he might as well unwrap them to see how many of his clothes were still intact after nearly one and a half decades. As he worked, he realised that some suits were new and more in line with his current colour preferences and all his old ones were definitely wearable.

A trip to the adjoined bathroom revealed the kind of products that used to be so familiar to him, and one whiff of the cologne waiting for him nearly brought tears to his eyes after ten years in Arkham, where scents were bearable at best and nauseating at worst.

Oswald truly had planned to free him not long after his own release, just as he had told him. Not that Ed doubted that claim; it eased his mind to trust Oswald, and Oswald had explanations aplenty at hand, as usual.

"They put you in Arkham to lock you up indefinitely," Oswald had said. "Nobody gets better in there, and everyone knows it. So, all I needed, was a new psychologist for you who would state that a longer stay was detrimental to your mental health, that you would have already served your time, and that you are to be released immediately."

Of course, now that Ed had escaped instead of being released through more or less official channels, it had complicated matters.

The new psychologist he'd been assigned maybe six months earlier was now on his case along with several of Oswald's top lawyers. They apparently argued that he had been broken out against his will and had been in no mental state to fight expert manipulations by a madman. Or something along those lines.  
All Ed had to do for now was lie low, which was admittedly not one of his strong suits.

He opened the medicine cabinet, found a glasses case, and opened it. Inside was a brand-new pair of his old glasses that had been broken in Arkham.  
Two tears did fall at that, and he took a deep breath to compose himself before putting them on.

*

He was showered and wearing one of his new suits when the knock came.

"Come in."

Oswald did and smiled widely immediately. "Settling in, I see," he said, satisfied.

Ed smiled back. "It's almost like-" He interrupted himself and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I know what it's almost like," Oswald said sardonically.

"Right."

"Doctor Kaling called," Oswald changed the topic, and Ed straightened to attention. "You are not to return to Arkham for now, but you have weekly appointments with her, so she can confirm your undisclosed whereabouts and mental state to the GCPD until you're declared sane. Again."

"So, your plan is working?"

"Well, yes, though Gordon has predictably protested at the _'undisclosed location'_ bit, but my lawyers shut him down and told him he should be glad that you don't sue them for damages sustained in Arkham." His lip twitched, amused. "But that does mean that you should take your meds and that – until you get your certificate – you're technically under house arrest."

Just the mention of that made Ed's skin crawl.

"I know," Oswald placated him immediately. "I don't expect you to actually stay here all the time, just that you don't get caught and don't leave behind amounts of carnage large enough that they don't have a choice but to investigate."

Ed nodded. Provided he kept himself busy, that was something that he should be able to do. He'd lain low before, and he tended to forget time entirely when he lost himself in a project, anyway.  
"What about Gordon?" Ed asked. "Isn't he going to come after you?"

"Pfft," Oswald waved him off. "It's his word against mine, and my lawyers were remarking on dear Jim's unhealthy obsession with me and that it was probably down to him being unwilling to share his spotlight as saviour of the city."

Ed grinned, delighted. "We are still going to have to work on your standing in the underworld as well as with the public, and I have some suggestions..."

Oswald grinned and leaned forward on his cane. "I was hoping you would!" He chuckled a bit, then his expression softened. "Though I hope you'll create room for yourself in those plans. I don't mean to presume, of course."

Ed smirked a bit. "Stronger together," he said.

"Just so!" Oswald agreed, pointing at Ed with the cane.

Ed tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "We're going to need some ground rules for our partnership this time around, though."

Oswald pulled a face, making Ed chuckle.

"Mandatory, Oswald."

"Yes, yes," Oswald agreed impatiently. "You'll forgive me if I don't look forward to us sharing potential weak spots with each other." His eyes flashed.

"You have nothing to fear from me," Ed assured him, though there was a dangerous glint in his eyes as well. "Not unless you stab me in the back first."

Oswald snorted. "Fair enough."

They smirked at each other, both coming to the conclusion that, perhaps, they were finally at a place in their lives where they could make their partnership work. Mostly because, after all this time, they were sick of being alone.

Oswald shifted, sniffed once, and cleared his throat. "Well, then. Welcome home, old friend."

***  
**512 Plus 2 Weeks**

Ed may have gone a bit overboard with the whole _'working on Oswald's standing'_ bit. It was almost like he was chief of staff again, only that there was no mayoral office, that they had to build their platform themselves, and that – although Oswald had kept an admirable hold on his business from Blackgate – the underworld had to be made to bow to their clearly superior way of running things again. Then there were the legitimate sides of Oswald's business, such as three nightclubs, a _'logistics company'_ , and newly installed charities.

Most of this, Ed orchestrated from within the Van Dahl estate. Mostly. Almost mostly.

"I still don't understand why it has to be the Narrows," Oswald complained. (He didn't whine. He would have been quite adamant on that, had anyone dared to ask.)

Ed crossed his arms, clung to his patience, secure in the knowledge that he was right and that Oswald just had to come around. "Because they still hate you."

"Exactly!" Then Oswald sent Ed a look that spelled out what he thought was the reason for the Narrows hating the Penguin.

Ed just rolled his eyes. "That was ages ago! And they hated you before and after I was there."

"The Narrows are a lost cause!" Oswald insisted. 

"The Narrows are the most likely place where any of your enemies would find muscle for hire or even an entire mob," Ed argued reasonably. "So, if you can buy their loyalty – and _yes_ ," he quickly added before Oswald could protest, "fear is nice, but loyalty lasts and is harder to sway. If you can buy their loyalty and invest, the Narrows could become the most promising micro economy of the entire state, and you'd have a hand in all important endeavours."

Oswald rubbed his face.

"And if you ever have to disappear, which is entirely possible, there is no better place," Ed concluded his argument.

"Turning the Narrows into so much as a barely functional economy, never mind a promising one, would cost a fortune that we do not have," Oswald pointed out.

Ed grinned, all Riddler, indicating that there was another ace up his sleeve at his sole disposal.  
"And I may or may not have found a way to rob banks where they won't even realise they've been robbed _for weeks_ , possibly months, if I time it right."

Oswald's jaw dropped while he tried to figure out if Ed was being serious.

"We'll launder the money through the charities, and it'll disappear in the Narrows, never to be seen again."

Oswald's astonishment turned into delight. "And they'll never find out who robbed them because... Will they even know _when_ they were robbed, exactly?"

Ed leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. "They may be able to narrow it down to three or four days, but I wouldn't bet on it."

Oswald laughed, and Ed joined him. "Tell me more!"

***

**512 Plus 1 Month**

Ed's next step in his grand masterplan was not one that Oswald liked particularly well. But, needs must, even if it meant inviting one of Ed's old flames into their home.

"Doctor Thompkins, how lovely to see you!" he greeted her with more enthusiasm than he felt.

"Mister Cobblepot," she returned the greeting politely, and only politely. "I should say that I'm not very comfortable being here, after what happened with you and Jim."

"That was a misunderstanding," Oswald said, waving off her concerns. "It was a very tumultuous situation for me, you understand."

"Uh-huh."

"Being in prison for ten years does things to a man," Oswald said calmly. "Especially, spending ten years in prison after fighting side by side with your husband before that." The dangerous look in his eyes was suddenly replaced with a beaming smile. "Water under the bridge, am I right?"

Lee released her breath and squared her shoulders. "Look, I'm really only here because-"

"Because of the charities I'm setting up for the Narrows. Of course."

"Right..."

"I know that this is still a matter close to your heart, and I believe we will be able to help each other." In another life and another time, he really would have been a natural born politician. "If you will follow me," he invited. "We should discuss details with my strategist." There was an emphasis on the last word that was hard to miss.

Lee briefly closed her eyes and sighed. "I really shouldn't be surprised."

Oswald tried to tone down his smirk. "And you're not."

"No, I'm not," Lee conceded. "Lead the way."

"He is doing much better, you know," Oswald said, limping down the hallway. "Arkham is no place for anyone." He sent her a look over his shoulder. "As you know."

Lee didn't reply, but she couldn't but agree.

Oswald opened the door to the conference room in which Ed had spread out papers upon papers he was perusing.

Ed looked up. "Hello, Lee," he greeted her, enlacing his fingers and resting the hands on top of whatever document he'd been studying.

Lee entered the room hesitantly behind Oswald. "Ed. It's been a while."

Oswald huffed. "I'd say that it hasn't been long enough, but I promised to be civil."

Lee glared at him. "You invited me," she pointed out.

"Because _he_ insisted that we need you, and I couldn't argue my way out of it." 

Ed did his best to not let out the laugh that threatened to burst free and just sent an amused look to Lee who returned it almost against her own will.

Oswald made his way to the still free seat at the head of the table, leaving Ed to his left, then he pointed out the chair to his right. "Please, have a seat."

Lee sat down, resisting the urge to say, _'Let's get this over with,'_ but it was implied in her expression.

"Ed?" Oswald prompted, as he was as eager to get through the meeting as fast as possible as well.

"Right." Ed straightened in his seat and addressed Lee. "We know that you still spend several days a week in the Narrows, keeping up medical support by the skin of your teeth," he said bluntly.

"At least I'm doing something," she bit back, crossing her arms.

"Yes," he agreed with her statement more than the motivation behind it. His dark eyes grew intense. "What would you say to us setting up a charity-run clinic with proper equipment and a training program for future staff from the Narrows?"

Lee, who had been suspicious at the look in his eyes and worried that Ed would know which buttons to push, realised that he did indeed know _exactly_ which buttons to push and just stared in shock.  
"You can't possibly be serious. That would cost a fortune."

"That's what the charity is for," Ed said, but what he was _not_ saying was just as loud and clear.

"And where does the money of that charity come from?" Lee volleyed back.

Ed smiled condescendingly. "All paperwork will be perfectly in order, I assure you."

That gave her pause. "Oh, crap. What did you do?"

Ed fluttered his eyelashes coyly. "I couldn't have done anything. I'm under house arrest, after all."

Lee deflated, both incredulous and disappointed. She should have known that this was too good to be true. "You two do know who I'm married to, right?" She almost hated having to remind them of that.

"And _you_ know," Oswald piped up, leaning towards her, "that nobody will take care of the Narrows." His voice was hard and cold, and she knew the truth of the statement. "City Hall won't build a hospital, won't bring business, won't set one foot in there; none of them will even _mention_ the Narrows for fear of being asked to make it a policy to change the situation. You know this."

"I can't just look the other way when you two do god knows what behind the scenes," she protested, but her resolve audibly crumbled.

"You won't have to," Ed dangled the metaphorical carrot in front of her. "Everything will be completely above board."

Some more of Lee's resolve drizzled to the floor. "You mean it will _look_ that way," she couldn't help but protest.

"That is, technically, what above board means," Ed said patronisingly.

Lee rolled her eyes, torn between wanting to help the Narrows and being as far from trusting the two men as she could possibly be. "What's in it for you?"

"Ed ran the numbers," Oswald said. "So, we know what kind of investment is needed in what sector to the point that we can set up lucrative business operations. Legal ones, of course," he quickly added. (Illegal ones could make a profit much sooner, after all.) "And Ed's numbers are never wrong."

"So, you're just after money?" Lee asked, clearly not buying it, seeing as the two self-proclaimed benefactors apparently had quite the money-flow going on already.

"And the people's goodwill," Oswald elaborated smarmingly.

Lee rubbed her face, feeling a headache coming on. She was so, so tempted. "What do you need me for?"

"We need a connection with authority on the inside," Ed said matter-of-factly. "Also someone who knows what the clinic needs to run properly." He cleared his throat. "And we'd like you to run it, eventually."

Lee's eyes roamed over the papers strewn all over the table, imagining all the things she would be able to do to help, if only she had the money and the voice to make people _see_...

"Interested?" Oswald asked mostly unnecessarily.

Lee briefly closed her eyes, but if she was honest with herself, the decision wasn't a decision at all.  
"Show me what you have."

Oswald clapped his hands once. "Excellent!" he proclaimed. It was a joy to watch Ed's plans add up, really. It was as his friend had always claimed: people were just puzzles, and Ed knew how to figure them out. 

And the best way to get something you wanted from a person? Show them you're the only one who can give them what _they_ want.

By the time they sent Lee on her way, another part of their plan was set in motion.

They waved her off from the front door, and Ed chuckled when she was out of earshot.

"Jim is going to be so pissed."

Oswald snorted. "That's just a bonus, really."

"Oh?" Ed said, unconvinced.

"I'm trying to think less about how to get one over on him and focus more on my own goals."

Ed grinned.

"Our victory will be the sweetest revenge, and his wife will have helped us accomplish it," he further pointed out.

Ed laughed. "But you're not thinking about taking revenge on Jim at all..." he said sarcastically.

"I said I was _trying_ ," Oswald complained and closed the door, making Ed laugh some more and Oswald join in.

***

**512 Plus 2 Months**

Ed didn't remember much of what had happened after the last of his blessedly less frequent but unfortunately still mandatory therapy sessions. He only remembered about half of the session itself if he were to be quite honest with himself. And that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? Being honest with himself.

Ed was many things. A manipulator, a silver-tongued snake, a weaver of his truth, a trickster, the _Riddler_. But not a liar when he could help it. Lies were unnecessary when you could spin words to suit you and make people believe an untruth without ever having to utter it, while they walk into your trap with their eyes wide open.  
And lying to oneself? Well, that was just a waste of time.

It was understandable, therefore, that his earlier and sudden revelation left him dumbstruck. He had lied to himself – or at least hidden the truth under layers of what he could only assume were trauma and repression – for well over a decade.

To the best of his knowledge, this had never happened to him before. While he may have been at ease with his selves, as unified as he was ever going to get, this had not always been the case. And whenever one of him had chosen to ignore something in the past, the other had merrily set him to rights with condescension.  
Neither of his selves had been aware of _this_ truth. Neither had seen fit to rub his face in the fact that he had missed the most glaringly obvious answer he could ever have asked a question to. The answer he had dismissed before the question could even fully form.

But one cannot hide forever, and Ed could not resist a riddle. Because he, more than anyone else, knew the importance of riddles, because they revealed the asker. Because they could give him insights to himself that would otherwise elude him. He, with his mind at war with itself, had found the tool to understand himself, to retain control of himself, by asking riddle after revealing riddle, each of which telling him who he was more than he ever could uncover otherwise.

A good riddle reveals the asker. He should have heeded this insight instead of being blindsided by it. 

Nearly a lifetime ago, a city had been full of admiration for his best friend. The same admiration that had filled Edward to the brim as well, to the point that he could only express its full extent with a riddle.  
But unlike the admiration, the love Ed had spoken of to Oswald was not priceless to a whole city. It was priceless to _two_.

And Ed was an idiot.

An idiot who was now being forced to face the truth and the world outside his thoughts.

At first, he didn't know what it was that finally breached the fog his mind had been trapped within, ever since the startling and frightening truth had taken root, but once he realised that it was Oswald calling his name from across the room, he found that he wasn't surprised. Of course it would be Oswald. When was it ever not?

Awareness of his surroundings returned to him slowly, and he apparently must have found his way to the sofa in the sitting room, though he didn't remember ever moving there.

"Edward?" Oswald said cautiously, standing an uncharacteristic distance away and against the wall. "Can you hear me?"

Ed blinked. "Of course I can hear you."

Oswald studied him intently before speaking again. "I've been trying to get your attention for several minutes," he said, his voice carefully devoid of all undertones.

"From all the way over there?" Ed huffed, incredulous. What was Oswald doing? The man was way too tense, while also being _'off the clock'_ , marked by the missing jacket and the reading glasses he wore instead of the monocle.

Oswald shifted. "Your therapist called me," he said frankly. "She was worried you might be dissociating." He gestured at the floor between them with his cane. "Keeping my distance seemed like the smart thing to do until I know what's going on with you."

Ed frowned. "I'm not dissociating!" he protested. "And I haven't split in ages. I don't even hallucinate." His expression darkened some more. "I was _thinking_ ; not that she's well versed in the concept."

Oswald smirked. "I feel it's my duty to remind you that you actually like her."

Ed rolled his eyes. "She's the only somewhat competent therapist I've ever had, but, as you well know, that isn't saying much."

Oswald snickered and visibly relaxed. "Alright, then. What are you thinking about?" He did not move closer, however, despite the acceptance of Ed's explanation.

Ed's eyes grew distant again. "What did she say happened?"

"I couldn't get much out of her, she's regrettably professional like that," Oswald bemoaned. "She only said that you were elaborating on the importance of riddles and how they reveal the riddler, as it were, and she didn't appear to think that she was disclosing anything personal." Oswald's sharp gaze found Ed's. "I think she was probably wrong about that."

Ed smirked slightly. "Well, you always were smart."

"Smarter than your therapist," Oswald readily agreed. He pointedly casually walked closer. "So, what was the riddle that would frighten the poor woman?"

Ed shook his head. "I didn't tell her a riddle. I was just reminded of one."

Oswald came to a stop next to the coffee table. "Do I know it?"

Oswald's insightfulness had always been uncanny to Ed, and it was again in this instance. He lowered his head. Eventually, he just nodded.

Oswald took a deep breath. "No lies, no omissions, no secrets, because, and I'm quoting _you_ here, _'they could break both our necks,'_ if you remember."

Ed did remember. And he still thought that it was a crucial rule for their partnership. Still... "Only if they're relevant to both of us."

"Forgive me, my friend, but you very much look like it might be something relevant."

Ed raised his head but only stared blankly ahead. Oswald was right. It concerned both of them, and it was exactly the kind of secret that could be used against them. _Had_ been used against them in the past, in fact.  
"You'll hate me for it," were the words that dug themselves out of the swamp that was currently clogging his usually crystal-clear thought processes.

Oswald didn't have a reply for that, and Ed was only peripherally aware of him standing there and couldn't make out his expression.

"I didn't know," Ed added even more quietly, barely more than a whisper.

Oswald paused, swayed a bit, and then cleared his throat. "I can hardly hate you for something you didn't know, can I?" The question sounded a bit like he wasn't entirely sure of that fact but dared Ed to reassure him and prove his doubts wrong.

Ed didn't answer.

Oswald shifted. "Edward," he said, softly but very firmly.

Ed squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them with this thumb and forefinger under his glasses, trying to compose himself. Emotional matters and introspection were his least favourite things.

"If you can't say it," Oswald suggested, "just tell me the riddle."

Ed couldn't help but smile. Asking for a riddle was undoubtedly a little trick that his therapist had shared with Oswald. Or, perhaps, Oswald had thought of it himself. He was certainly smart enough to have figured out by now that it was the most likely course of action to get information out of Ed.  
It was also a sign of just how worried his friend must have been if he would willingly subject himself to one of Ed's brain teasers.

"Edward?" Oswald prompted again, and Ed realised that he must have been silent for too long.

"Priceless to two," Ed whispered, and then he waited. It wouldn't be long for the meaning of the words to sink in, he was sure. Not after what Oswald had said about riddles revealing the riddler.

And, indeed, it was only a few seconds before there was a shuddering breath from Oswald's side of the coffee table, followed by a few more calming breaths.  
"I need to sit down," Oswald rasped, shuffled to the sofa, and all but fell into the soft cushions at the far end.

Now they were both staring ahead, chasing their thoughts and long-lost chances.

"I'm sorry," Ed said into the heavy silence, daring a peek at his friend.

A watery chuckle burst out of Oswald, seemingly without much conscious thought. "You didn't know. I can't blame you for that."

An old fire rose from the depths of Ed's guts up his throat and to his eyes, making them burn. "How can you _say_ that?" His voice was a low growl, demanding an answer and not allowing excuses.

Oswald returned the heated look but didn't speak.

"After all the horrible things we did to each other back then? None of it would have happened if I'd only realised-" the voice stuck in his throat, making him choke.

There was fire in Oswald's eyes too, but it was the kind of fire that was as familiar a burn to him as the pain in his leg. He sat, unruffled. "We were different people, then," he said rationally. "Or are you saying you'd rather be who you were when we first met?" He raised an eyebrow, knowing the answer to that question without a doubt.

"Of course not!" Ed said, but he couldn't combine the thoughts of his old self and the pain he and his friend had caused each other.

"Edward." Oswald rubbed his face, suddenly looking tired, or perhaps just resigned. "I believe... that the clumsy versions of our future selves that we were back then were bound to hurt each other." He let that sink in. "We'd barely scratched the surface of what we could be, so how were we to know what we could be to each other?"

That made an uncomfortable amount of sense.

"It was such a long time ago," Oswald said, his voice as far away as the memory. "And we haven't really hurt each other in nearly as long," he added quickly, uncomfortably pursing his lips.

Ed smirked. "To be fair, we were locked up separately for most of that time."

That made Oswald chuckle. "True."

Ed contemplated their current dynamic. "We do _annoy_ each other on occasion."

"That can hardly be avoided." Oswald finally angled his body towards Ed. "You are a very annoying man."

Ed's startled laugh surprised both of them, and they grinned at each other.

"Now, dear friend," Oswald said, willing them both to move on from the topic. "You seem to be in better spirits, though for the life of me I can't tell why old bygones would bother you that much."

Ed's jaw set. "I don't like not knowing things, and I especially don't like not knowing things _about myself_."

Oswald tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"There's usually..." Ed continued, "... one part of me that points out when I'm being wilfully blind." His lips pulled into a rueful moue.

Oswald thought about that. "So, your whole You didn't know. Interesting," he mused, then another question occurred to him. "Why would it suddenly matter now, though? You're not one to wallow in memories." He raised a pointed eyebrow. "Did something happen?"

Ed shrugged. "There was nothing that I can tell. The realisation could have made itself known at any point in the past. It's not like anything has changed."

Oswald flinched in his seat, but Ed was too caught up in his puzzle to notice.

"Perhaps it's living here again," Ed went on, then shook his head, "but you brought me to the mansion two months ago, and there would have been more than enough memory triggers that it should have happened sooner if it were that."

Oswald still sat frozen in place.

"Oswald?"

Oswald breathed in sharply when hearing his name pulled him out of his reveries. "What are you saying?"

Ed frowned. "About what? I told you I don't know." He turned his body to face Oswald more easily, but all he got in return was a stare with wide eyes, one dark and one bright, both intense.  
"Oswald, what did I say?" Clearly, he must have said _something_ to set him off.

Oswald visibly struggled for composure. "Edward," he started very deliberately, "I need you to tell me something."

"Yes?"

"When you say... that nothing has changed..."

Now Ed's eyes widened when realisation set in.

"... were you talking about your feelings?"

Ed shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the direction their talk had taken. He bit his lips and stared at the coffee table, unconsciously still keeping his body angled towards his oldest and truest friend, however.  
"You don't need to concern yourself with that, Oswald. I value our friendship, I value _you_ , too much to jeopardise it with something that has never mattered before."

"Ed," Oswald's voice was hoarse and only just audible. "Ed, I need to hear you say it."

Ed closed his eyes. "It doesn't matter. I won't _let it_ matter."

"Eddie, _please_."

Hearing the tears in the plea, Ed opened his eyes in shock, and his gaze was pulled in by Oswald's as if it were a magnet.  
He supposed that it _was_ his turn, wasn't it? And Oswald deserved to hear it, especially considering all the pain it had caused that Ed hadn't been able to return the sentiment when it had first been foolishly offered.  
If only his lips would form the words.  
He was a logical man; why was it so hard to speak the truth? It didn't make a fact any less true if it remained unspoken.

Oswald's brave gaze faltered, his eyes and shoulders slowly lowering.

And Ed wanted – needed – to stop that from happening. He couldn't bear seeing Oswald be anything less than everything. Proud, strong, a force to be reckoned with.  
"I love you." He only realised he'd said the words when he heard them spoken in his own voice, and his world tilted on its axis for just a moment before it righted itself.

Oswald's incredulous eyes were on him again, tears streaking his face.

"You..." Ed took in the picture before him. "You still love me," he dared to assume with wonder. "You never stopped."

"Never," Oswald forced out and swallowed. "Even when I hated you the most, I still loved you all the same."

Ed's hand that was bracing him on the couch twitched in his effort to not reach out, but Oswald had no such restraint and reached to hold it in one of his own.  
Ed trembled in the grasp. "You never said anything again," he noted, his voice small.

Oswald huffed a watery little laugh. "Can you blame me?"

No, he couldn't. He cleared his throat. "It's not like you to not go after something you want."

Oswald smirked. "I put someone else's needs before my own," he stated and straightened proudly, which moved him closer to Ed. "I do know how to do that on very rare occasions and for even fewer people."

Ed incredulously shook his head. Not knowing what to reply to that, he looked at their joined hands and decided that perhaps he had one more daring move in him. He lifted Oswald's hand to his lips and brushed over the fingers in a feathery touch, his eyes never leaving Oswald's.  
He was rewarded for his courage with a look he hadn't seen on Oswald in a very long time and laced their fingers together before holding their joined hands against his chest.  
"Would you..." he ventured further.

"Anything."

Ed chuckled breathily, almost enchanted by how Oswald's youthful eagerness easily shaved – oh – about thirteen years off him and brought them back to a different night on that very same sofa.  
"For now, perhaps a kiss?" he suggested.

Oswald nodded absently and leaned into the touch when Ed cupped his cheek with his free hand.

"Yes?" Edward shifted closer.

Oswald's answering _'yes'_ was not audible at all, no more than a breath, but Ed's eyes were on his lips and made out the word regardless.  
It would have been to Oswald's utter mortification had he had the presence of mind to notice his trembling. He only managed to keep breathing.  
Just as their lips were about to touch, he whispered, "This can't be happening."

"It is."

"I'm dreaming," he insisted when warm breath fluttered against him.

"You're not."

He wasn't. It was happening. They were kissing. Just delicate brush of lips.

"Eddie," Oswald breathed, too overwhelmed to know any other words, too inveigled to do anything but explore further, capture Ed's bottom lip between his and making his dearest friend moan sweetly.

As for Ed, that was when the dam broke. He may not have been consciously aware of his feelings, his wants, his desires, until very recently, but they had been with him for a very long time, nonetheless. It had been mounting behind a wall of repression that had been built as a protection he no longer needed. His revelation had shown him the wall, and Oswald tore it down, one gentle touch at a time.  
Ed deepened the kiss, and Oswald immediately welcomed the tongue with his own, their hands and arms finding their ways around each other in an attempt to eliminate every fleck of space separating them.

A noise from another room startled them apart, both breathing heavily. Right. Olga was probably preparing dinner – what with her still being the only permanent staff member – and the sitting room sofa was perhaps not the best place to unleash a decade's worth of bottled emotions.

"If I were to invite you to my bedroom," Oswald managed to utter breathlessly, "would you-"

"Yes. Anything."

Oswald stared at Ed with amazement for a few seconds, kissed him again because he could, and then stood, leading them both upstairs and away from potentially curious housekeepers.

It was a frantic tumble up the stairs, the two of them shedding their clothes the moment they entered the master bedroom. But while they may have been ready for _'anything, anything at all, anything you want, yes, please, don't ever stop, I love you,'_ the overwhelming reality of their feelings and desires had them shudder in completion in each other's arms mere minutes after they'd fallen onto the mattress.

They didn't mind. They just lay on their sides, holding each other close with wonder, sharing kisses.

"Not my best performance, I have to say," Ed said with a sleepy chuckle after a blissful eternity.

"Is this really the time to boast about your past performances, Edward?"

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all and kissed Oswald sweetly.

"I am, however, looking forward to repeat performances and whatever improvements you have in mind."

Ed chortled and then laughed, watching Oswald try and fail to keep a straight face. Then they both laughed and pulled each other even closer, kissing and nipping every bit of skin within reach.

The mirth slowly faded, leaving behind only warmth and... belonging, as if the cold they had caused each other had never happened.

"Eddie?"

"Hm?"

"You are going to move into my room, right?"

Ed smiled. "If you like."

"I do. I like. I like very much."

Ed's smile widened. "Okay."

*

When it was time for dinner, Ed sat propped up against the headboard of Oswald's- of _their_ bed and watched the other man move about the bedroom to put on his pyjamas and dress robe. He was probably still riding high on endorphins and suchlike, making his thoughts buzz pleasantly.

"Are you going to get up?" Oswald asked, amused by Ed's dreamlike expression.

Ed just hummed in vague agreement but didn't move to get up at all, prompting Oswald to return to the bed, sit on the edge by Ed's side, and reach for the closest hand.

"What are you thinking?" Oswald asked.

Ed breathed in deeply, expanding his chest as far as it would go, and relaxed into the pillows when he breathed out. "That I am, quite possibly, the world's largest fucking idiot."

Oswald burst out laughing, and Ed joined him with a self-deprecating chuckle.  
"You, my darling," Oswald said and leaned in for a kiss, "are nothing of the sort."

Edward scoffed. "We could have had this," he gestured at the two of them and the bed, "all this time."

Oswald sent him a _look_. "Edward," he said rationally, "we were in prison for ten years. _Separately_."

Ed blinked, the thought clearly having momentarily escaped him. "You have a point there," he mused, then shuddered. "Yeah, no, that would have been way worse. You're right."

There was an unreadable expression in Oswald's eyes. "They wouldn't let me write to you," he admitted softly, and Ed breathed in sharply, reassuringly tightening his hold on Oswald's hand.

"Yes, well," Ed considered, "the last time you sent me a letter while locked up, I ended up breaking you out." The comment had the desired effect and made Oswald laugh a bit.

"I suppose that is fair." He ran a thumb over Ed's hand. "I still missed you terribly."

"I missed you too."

Oswald cleared his throat. "All in the past, now."

Ed ran the fingers of his free hand reverently over Oswald's cheek. "We are going to have to set some more ground rules for this change in our relationship," he changed the topic.

Oswald rolled his eyes and groaned.

"You know I'm right."

"Alright, already!" Oswald complained. "I know you're right, but I don't have to like it. That just means we'll talk about worst case scenarios and what we should do if they occur."

"The more secure we are together, the less room we offer for an attack," Ed said reasonably.

Oswald sighed and silently agreed. "Do you want to... keep this a secret?" he asked, not quite sure which answer he would have preferred.

"Not indefinitely," Ed replied immediately. "We should give ourselves the time to find our footing, but while secrets are a valuable commodity in our line of work, we should keep control of it."

"Agreed."

Ed tilted his head. "We could even... reveal it to our advantage."

"Perhaps a public date as an alibi for something we couldn't possibly do at the same time?" Oswald suggested mischievously.

Ed grinned widely. "I love the way your mind works."

Oswald leaned in for a kiss, then smacked Ed's thigh through the blanket. "Now, get up. I'm hungry, and I want dinner."

Ed swung his long legs over the edge of the bed and made to find all his clothes that were strewn about the bedroom floor.

Oswald unabashedly enjoyed the view of his new lover bending over repeatedly while naked.

Once Ed had found the last sock, he straightened with the bundle of clothes in his arms and turned to grin at Oswald, who felt no need to hide his ogling.  
"Olga will be scandalised to see us come to dinner in our nightwear."

Oswald scoffed. "Olga gets paid enough to suck it up."

Ed leaned in for another kiss. "I'll be right down." Then he went to find his pyjamas in his soon-to-be ex-room.

***

**512 Plus 3 Months**

Lee was sorting through the piles of request files and applications and inventory lists in her makeshift office at the newly established clinic and sighed tiredly. Much as she wanted to do this and knew how important it was, the mountain of work was neverending and continuously growing.

The knock on the door was a welcome diversion, even if it meant that she would fall behind even more.

Ed marched right in. "Hello, Lee."

"Ed," she said, more in surprise than greeting. She sounded about as pleased as she had when he'd interrupted her assisting Barbara give birth ten years ago. "What are you doing here?"

Ed remained unimpressed by her unwelcome attitude. "Checking on your progress, of course."

"Right," she said, wary. "You never came by before..."

Ed huffed a laugh. "You know damn well my house arrest was only suspended yesterday."

Lee scoffed. "Don't try to tell me you never bent that rule."

"Didn't seem like a good idea to bend it where the Commissioner's wife would see."

Lee shook her head, at least a little amused. "Take a seat," she offered, gesturing at the chair in front of her desk.

Ed did so and frowned at the paperwork on her desk. "Keeping up?"

Lee sighed and rubbed her face. "I'm trying. Setting up a clinic was always going to be a lot of work, and I admit that administration isn't my forte."

"Do you need more help?"

"I need more of everything," she admitted, sounding more self-deprecating than her situation warranted.

Ed's frown deepened. "So, we'll get you more of everything. I thought we were being clear when we said that you'll have what you need to get this show on the road."

Lee returned the frown with an angry one of her own. "Look, I'm not comfortable with spending money of dubious origin if I can just do the work myself."

Ed narrowed his eyes. "The paper trail of all the money being transferred here through the charity is pristine, I assure you."

"The _paper trail_ , Ed!"

"Since when do you care where the money comes from for your precious Narrows?"

"Since I know that you'll kill anyone standing between you and the money if nobody stops you."

Ed's eyes flashed angrily, and his jaw set. He briefly shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Fine," he forced out and opened his eyes again. "I promise I'll do whatever I can to avoid civilian casualties." He paused. "Will that do?"

"Civilian?"

"This is Gotham. You can't expect some lowlife scumbag to not end up dead if they deserve it."

Lee ran her hands through her hair and growled, frustrated. "Fine. _Fine!_ " she agreed. "And no big, flashy stunts. If you get caught doing whatever, that'll fall back on the charity, and we'll lose everything."

Ed considered that. "Agreed."

Lee didn't appear convinced.

Ed rolled his eyes. "My therapist and I have already devised some alternate approaches for my more... histrionic tendencies."

"Right," she said warily, not knowing what to make of that statement.

"And Oswald has been so delightfully diverting of late..."

Lee's eyes widened. "I don't want to know," she decided firmly.

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

Lee laughed.

"And I'd appreciate it if you didn't share this information at this time either."

"Alright, whatever," she readily agreed, too tired and amused to do otherwise. The amusement faded, but the warm look in her eyes stayed for a bit. "Why are you doing this, Ed? And don't tell me business ventures and _'the people's goodwill'_. That's bullshit."

Ed's expression turned serious in an instant. "The Narrows are a danger to Oswald. I can't let that stand."

Lee pondered that for along moment, studying Ed as she did. She knew that there were new endeavours in the Narrows already. Warehouses were being set up again, job offers popped up, a bar was about to open (and it had _Penguin_ written all over the concept)...  
"Okay," she eventually said, accepting the explanation.

Ed nodded once.

"Okay, right. Fine." She threw up her hands. "Give me everything you've got."

Ed grinned his most shark-like grin.

***

**512 Plus 4 Months – Christmas Charities**

Oswald and Ed were in the back of their limousine, dressed to the nines for a ludicrously prestigious mid-December charity gala.

"You are not to leave my side," Oswald proclaimed.

Ed bit his lips to avoid laughing.

"It's not funny," Oswald complained. "This is the first such event I'm going to in over a decade, and, as you know, I don't have the best track record with them."

Ed took his hand in a silent apology. "I know."

"And if I can't show you off on my arm, the least you can do is provide me with decent company."

Ed just grinned at him. "It's not the right time for showing me off on your arm, Oswald."

Oswald pouted. "Would be nice though."

Ed kissed his cheek. "Yes, it would be. And it will be, eventually."

"My restraint deserves some kind of award."

Ed groaned in agreement. "Mine too. I have been the picture of restraint for _months_."

Oswald smirked. "But only the picture, dearest."

Ed returned the smirk. "This city doesn't know what's happening right under their noses."

"And the bat is distracted by the more extreme elements, which suits our subtle plans to rebuild our empire just fine."

"Everybody wins," Ed agreed. "At least until we decide that someone needs to fall."

Oswald snickered happily. "Are you sure I can't blackmail Wayne tonight? Even just a little?"

"You don't do anything _just a little_ , Oswald."

Oswald sighed martyr-like.

"And I don't think we should corner him, unless we have no choice. I just want him to know that we know."

Oswald hummed in agreement, then scoffed. "I still can't believe that _child_ is-" He didn't finish that sentence and breathed out the remaining air.

"Yes, you can."

Oswald smiled. "Yes, I suppose so. He's always been... something."

"You like him," Ed remarked fondly.

"I like the kid he was, not so much the annoying bat he has become."

Ed chuckled. "The bat is very useful in hunting down the extreme elements you mentioned earlier. Some of which are about to try and frame us..."

"Yes, yes, I know." Oswald huffed. "And I'll make sure he knows and acts accordingly."

They were entering the driveway to the venue, and Ed shifted closer.

"If I'm supposed to keep my hands to myself for the rest of the evening, I need a kiss."

Oswald chuckled and complied. Enthusiastically.

*

Oswald would have preferred to approach Bruce Wayne with Ed by his side, but, unfortunately, the opportunity arose when Ed had disappeared to get them both drinks.

"Mister Wayne," he greeted the man and offered his hand.

Wayne took the hand and shook it firmly. "Mister Cobblepot. Good to see you re-joining society."

Oswald ignored the hint of him having had left it for obvious reasons. "Indeed," he said instead. "And I have every intention of keeping it that way."

Wayne smiled politely. "I hear you are making progress with the Hope Clinic charity," he steered the discussion into savoury waters.

"Quite so," Oswald agreed. "With the help of your own generous donations, of course. I cannot thank you enough. This will truly bring a change to the Narrows."

"All for a good cause," Wayne said. "I also quite like the name."

This time, Oswald's smile was real. "Edward thought it was a bit on the nose, but we all need hope, don't we?" Which was when Ed reappeared by his side with two glasses of champaign in hand, giving one to Oswald and greeting Wayne.

"I believe you know Edward Nygma, Mister Wayne," Oswald introduced them.

Wayne took Ed's hand. "I definitely remember his voice," he said pointedly but surprisingly without malice.

"Ah," Ed said, clearing his throat. "My apologies for the charade, Mister Wayne. If it is any consolation, I had no intention of killing you, back then or now."

"That puts you one step above my board of directors," Wayne joked. "And it's not like I never had my strings pulled by the Court, was it?"

Oswald pulled a face. "There was quite a lot of unpleasantness surrounding that group."

All three nodded, preoccupied, and then Wayne took a deep breath and faced Ed.

"I believe we even shared one particularly vicious type of manipulation, didn't we?"

Ed frowned in confusion.

"Clones."

Ed froze with his glass halfway to his lips.

Oswald looked at Ed. "Clones? What is he talking about?"

Wayne frowned too, more apologetically, however. "You knew, didn't you?"

"I..." Ed said, "... did have my suspicions, at least once enough time had passed for me to think clearly."

"That... was not my intention," Wayne said. "I didn't mean to- My apologies."

"Ed?"

Ed briefly closed his eyes. "He's talking about Isabella."

" _What?!_ " Oswald burst out, and then all the implications danced before his eyes, all the consequences, all of everything.

"I'm so sorry, Oswald," Ed said, contrite.

"What?" Oswald asked, confused. "I'm not mad at _you_!" he said when he saw Ed's expression. " _God_ , Edward! I'm just-" His jaw worked, but no words came out.

"I really am terribly sorry," Wayne said again. "This is hardly the place, and it definitely would not have been mine."

Oswald held up his hand to accept the apology and halt any further explanations. "I need to get a stronger drink and some air," he declared.

Ed immediately stood to attention. "Do you-"

"I'm fine, Ed. I just need a moment, as I am... not at my most rational, right now." He sent him an eloquent look. "So I need you to talk to Mister Wayne."

Ed didn't like it. "Oswald, let me just-"

"Edward, I promise you, I'll be fine. I just need to get out of this room before I do something unseemly." He did rather look like he was about to explode.

Ed hesitated, then nodded. "Alright. Please come find me later."

"Of course." He nodded at Wayne. "Mister Wayne." With that, he hobbled away in the direction of the bar.

Ed worriedly followed him with his eyes before he forced himself to face the music. "Do you have any knowledge as to _why_ I was gifted with a clone?" he asked glibly.

Wayne cleared his throat. "I was only told after the fact. Apparently, they didn't like how the new mayor held power over too many aspects of the city."

Ed closed his eyes. "And I fell for it."

"You were meant to. We all were. The whole city was, for centuries."

"I'm supposed to be smarter than that," he growled.

"That's why they put their money on an emotional connection. They said that they had also considered sending a clone of your father but believed a love interest to be the better way to drive a wedge between you and the mayor." He shifted. "I wasn't even aware that their efforts had led to anything."

Ed sighed, ignoring the icy lump in his stomach at the knowledge of the different kind of horror he had narrowly avoided when the Court had opted against cloning his father.  
"They led to everything," he said.

"I'm sorry."

Ed shook his head, squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and took a deep breath. "My apologies, I'm not at my most rational, either, but needs must," he declared.

Wayne blinked.

Ed looked to all sides quickly to ensure that nobody was within hearing range, then he got ready to get it over with, so he could go and find Oswald, asap.  
"You'll have to hear me out before you say anything," he started and dove right in. "We know who you are," he said and quickly added, "and don't play stupid, _Bruce_ , it doesn't suit you."

The change that went through Wayne's posture was rather remarkable, though Ed doubted that anyone else would have known what to look for.

"It also has to be said that for someone who is as adept at thinking on her feet as Selina, she is a terrible liar when she doesn't see a question coming." There. That ought to clear up any remaining uncertainties regarding their topic.

"I see," was all Wayne said.

"Not her fault. I'm afraid that was all on me," he readily took that blame. "And you don't have to worry, we have no intention to... clip your wings, Mister Wayne."

"So what is it you want?"

"Right now? To bring something to your attention."

Wayne held Ed's gaze. "I'm listening."

"Not everyone is happy with how Oswald and I are building our standing in this city." He huffed. "Again. Though the countermovement is nothing of the scale of the Court of Owls, thankfully."

"Thankfully," Wayne said noncommittally.

"Some more radical characters of Gotham's illustrious rogue's gallery are apparently planning to have one of Oswald's charities pop up on your nocturnal radar." He was quite proud of the phrasing, despite his agitated state.

"What kind of charity?"

"Import of comestibles and medical equipment intended for the Narrows. From what I've heard, it's just about destroying Oswald's currently shining reputation, or they would have gone after a business venture, not a charity."

"And if that charity does, indeed... pop up on any nocturnal radars?" Wayne prompted.

"I would ask you to please question the source of the information before you storm in to hang Oswald and me from yet another lamppost."

Wayne's lip twitched involuntarily. "And what if the information leads me to you?"

Ed grinned. "We'll make sure there's some tea and biscuits ready for you." Ed promptingly raised his eyebrows.

"I always conduct my own investigations, Mister Nygma. I don't like to assume."

"Excellent. Now, if you'll excuse me, Oswald needs me. We'll have to continue our chat some other time."

"Mhm," Wayne hummed sceptically. "I had the sneaking suspicion there was more to your revelation than that."

"Don't worry, you're much more useful where you are now," Ed reassured him, which unsurprisingly worried Wayne even more.

They tilted their heads at each other, and Ed hurried away.

Less than a minute later, Alfred appeared by Wayne's side.

"So, what did those two want?"

Wayne pondered that. "Not sure, just yet. But they left me with enough to think about."

***

**512 Plus 6 Months**

Lee tried not to be too disappointed. And she wasn't, really. It was just part of being the Commissioner's wife, and bank robbers didn't care about what plans the Commissioner's wife might have had on Valentine's Day, after all.

These plans had just been changed from a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant to a dinner on her own at the very same restaurant, because there was no way she was going to leave and give up a reservation that took months to get.

She ended her phone call with Jim, who had sounded terribly apologetic but couldn't leave while there were criminals barricaded inside a bank with an undetermined but probably large amount of money. She just sighed, put down the phone and took the book out of her purse that she had brought, just in case. She had been married for long enough to always have contingency plans.

By the time the waiter had helpfully brought her a little book stand, so she could eat with her hands free, and had taken her order, she heard gasps and murmurs from closer to the front door, and she turned to see what the commotion was about, and... Oh. Well. That explained the shocked sounds.

Oswald Cobblepot and Edward Nygma had always known how to make an entrance, but the entrance they were currently staging was so obviously of a romantic nature that all eyes were on them. They handed over their coats, and Ed gallantly offered his right arm to Oswald, the two of them making it clear that nobody else mattered in their little world.

So. Today was to be their official debut as a couple, then. Lee had been aware of the relationship for a while now, but to this day, she wasn't quite sure why Ed had confided in her.  
She was a lot more sure about who was behind the bank robbery that was seemingly still going on, though.

"Those bastards," she muttered. She waved at them a bit when they noticed her and feigned surprise to see her. She did her best to not roll her eyes.

"Gentlemen," she greeted them and got a perfunctory "Lee" from Ed.

Oswald, as per usual, was more flowery. "Leslie, how lovely. Is dear Jim a bit late?" He gestured at the empty seat across from her.

Against her better judgement, Lee was amused. Bastards. "He won't be coming. There's a bank robbery going on."

"Oh, dear," Ed said, and it sounded as fake as their earlier surprise had looked. "No casualties, I hope?"

That wasn't a question. It was a not-so-subtle hint that Ed was playing as nice as he was capable, and Lee knew it.  
"None as of yet."

"Excellent," Oswald declared. "Let's hope luck will hold out."

"It had better," Ed muttered and earned himself a dark look from Oswald.

Lee couldn't hold back a snort. "So, should I tell Jim that you're here, or will that upset your dinner plans?"

Ed looked scandalised at the suggestion that anything as simple as that could possibly upset anything. "You can tell him if you like or not." He shrugged. "It's entirely up to you."

"Actually," Oswald interjected, "Jim might get a little over-excited and feel the need to search our home again if he believes us unobserved by witnesses tonight."

Ed tilted his head. "Point."

"I'll let him know, then," Lee said, and she had to silently admit that poking at Jim's set ways on occasion was funny. "And you two," she pointed at them, "owe me for ruining my Valentine's dinner."

"Will an x-ray machine soothe your ruffled feathers?" Ed asked innocently.

Lee gasped. "You got one?" They were very close to setting up an operating theatre, but an x-ray was something she hadn't expected for a while yet. They were awfully expensive.

"It will be delivered next week."

Lee crossed her arms and huffed. "Alright. Consider my ruffled feathers soothed. For now."

"We'd ask you to join us for dinner," Ed added glibly, "but this is an important date for us. I'm sure you understand."

"Yeah, yeah. Go enjoy your dinner." She waved them off.

Oswald cleared his throat. "If Jim hasn't arrived in time for dessert, you could still join us then," he suggested.

Lee studied both of them and realised that this was not an unscripted invitation. They wanted to be seen together as a couple tonight, and, apparently, they also wanted to be seen together with the Commissioner's wife... She should probably have declined.  
"Thank you. Then you can tell me about the x-ray you've acquired."

*

During the course of the evening, Lee'd had quite a bit of wine, which was how she explained that she was a bit chummier with her two inadvisable friends than could have been considered a good idea by the time Jim arrived.

Dessert had been eaten, and Lee declined the offer of coffee.

"God, no, or I won't sleep until at least four in the morning." She studied her companions who sat close together on the other side of their table. "And I have work to do tomorrow."

"And enough people to do it?" Ed asked.

"Yes. For now, anyway."

Oswald leaned forward. "And you will let us know when you need something, won't you?"

"You being so accommodating should really make me more suspicious."

Ed sent her a knowing look. "You are suspicious. You just weighed your suspicion against the good you can do."

Oswald rolled his eyes and decided to intervene before Lee had enough time to let her suspicions gain the upper hand.  
"You have every right to be wary of our motivations," he said. "But we have no ill intentions towards the Hope Clinic."

Lee sighed. "I even believe you."

"In fact," Oswald said cheerfully, "Ed thinks that it's safe for me to be present for the grand opening."

Ed snickered. "The mayor is already fuming. He'll be ready to spit nails by the time you take the limelight."

Lee raised an eyebrow. "Not running for office again, are you?" she asked Oswald.

"God, no. I can run this city without holding office. Better, one might argue."

"There's Jim," Ed said, looking over Lee's shoulder.

Lee turned around and waved at him when he saw her and immediately rushed over.

"Lee. I'm so sorry," he started before even reaching her side.

"It's fine. I know how it goes."

Jim nodded uncomfortably at the men at her table. "Oswald. Ed."

"Hello, Jim," they greeted him in unison.

Jim shifted. "I thought you said they were on a date?" he asked Lee.

"Oh, we are," Ed confirmed him quickly. "But Lee looked so lonely over her dessert, we asked her to join us..."

Oswald appeared to be biting the inside of his cheek, and Jim narrowed his eyes at Ed.

Lee rolled her eyes. "You're hilarious." She turned to look at Jim again. "It's _fine_. Ed was telling me about the x-ray machine that will be delivered."

"Right," Jim said, sounding utterly unconvinced.

"You know," Oswald piped up, "there is no reason to let out your frustrations on us."

"I'm not frustrated."

Now it was Oswald who looked like he needed convincing. "You don't look like a man who just caught a bank robber."

"How do you know about that?"

"I told them," Lee said before the accusations could start flying. At Jim's incredulous look, she added, "They asked where you were, and it's probably all over the news already."

That didn't make Jim look any happier, and Lee stood.

"I guess that's where I bid you two goodnight and pay my bill."

"Please," Oswald said. "Taken care of."

Jim drew in a breath to complain, but Lee took a firm hold of his arm to stop him.

" _Thank you_ , Oswald," she said pointedly, more to Jim than Oswald, and smiled.

Jim's smile was as sour as it ever got. "Yes. Thank you. Very generous of you."

"It's our pleasure," Oswald assured, and given his evilly pleased smile, he meant it. He and Ed both stood to properly wish Lee a good night, and Lee obliged, even making sure that the angle was right for the photographers who less-than-subtly had set up camp all over the restaurant during the course of the evening. (Given Jim's expression, he would hopefully be cut out of the pictures that resulted from their farewells.)

"Oswald, I suppose I'll be seeing you at the opening of the clinic."

"I wouldn't miss it."

"And _you_ ," she directed at Ed. "I was going to say, _'be good,'_ but _'be good enough'_ will have to do."

Ed's expression said that she would get good enough, and not a tiny bit of good more. "I'll do my best," was what he said out loud.

Jim sent the two of them a look in lieu of saying what was on his mind, and then he ushered Lee out of the restaurant.

Once Lee had her coat and they were outside, he no longer held back. "I cannot believe you."

"Don't be like that. They'll be all over the newspapers tomorrow, and we need all the press coverage we can get for when we want to open the clinic in spring." She got in the car and waited for Jim to do the same.

"You can't honestly believe that they have no hidden agenda."

"We've been over this. I don't care about their business; I only care about the charity and the clinic, and all of that is as pure as the driven snow."

Jim scowled and tore out of the parking lot. "Can't be that hard for a guy like Nygma to clean up a paper trail."

Lee thought long and hard whether she should say what was on her mind or not. But then, she'd had quite a bit of alcohol. "I bet Barbara is better."

Jim seemed to weigh his words just as carefully. "I never caught her doing anything she shouldn't have since she had the baby."

Lee smiled benignly. "I never caught either of them doing anything they shouldn't, either."

"That is not the same thing," Jim protested. "If those two fly off the handle, it won't be pretty."

Lee burst out laughing and then kept giggling for a good while longer. 

"What?"

"No, look, I get why you're out for their blood. I do. But telling yourself that Barbara and I can't do just as much damage in the right mindset, you're deluding yourself."

Jim stared through the windshield.

"The only reason why she and I never went to jail after the battle of Gotham was you. And don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, and I think we've both done well enough, but it wasn't exactly... _just_ , was it."

Jim fumed silently for another minute. "Cobblepot and Nygma both tried to kill me!"

Lee stared at him and waited for him to realise just how stupid that remark had been. It didn't take long, and he groaned, making her giggle again.

"Oh, fine," he relented. "But if they step one toe out of line, I'm locking them up again."

Lee patted his thigh. "Yes, dear."

He rolled his eyes, then he sighed. "You really trust them?" he honestly wanted to know.

"Not really. It'd be stupid of me to assume they're not well on their way back to ruling the underworld, if they don't already."

Jim pondered that. "They always were more dangerous together than apart."

"Maybe," she allowed, "but also more stable. There are fewer violent outbursts and more long-term strategy. I'm hearing that more and more of the gangs are lining up behind them."

Jim frowned. "From the Narrows."

Lee hummed in contemplation. "I don't think so, at least not yet, but the climate is definitely changing for the Penguin." She thought of the people of the Narrows who were once more becoming accustomed to seeing Ed in their midst. "They've pretty much accepted Ed as one of theirs, and after tonight's little coming out, they'll realise that Ed comes as a package deal."

"So..." Jim shifted in his seat. "Are they even for real, or was that just part of their... strategy."

Lee huffed a laugh. "They're for real."

"And you knew." It wasn't a question.

"I did. Wasn't my secret to tell, though."

"Fair enough," he conceded.

"And be honest, you didn't really want to know."

He snorted.

"You should also know," she added, "that I wouldn't let them get away with just anything." She looked at him. "You do know that, right?"

He sighed deeply. "I know."

"Good."

They were quiet for along time again, until he said, "You still care about him, don't you?"

"I can't say that I'm entirely comfortable around him, but I guess I do."

He sighed even more deeply.

"And they did both save Barbara and me when she was having the baby."

"Eugh! _Fine_! I'm going with you on this, but I don't have to like it."

She laughed and leaned against his shoulder. "You have my permission to hate it."

" _Good_."

She laughed some more and decided that she should probably wait with telling Jim that his daughter had recently declared Ed – whom she occasionally met when she was at the clinic with Lee – to be her best friend who would tell her interesting things and taught her important words such as _'allegedly'_.

Knowing Barbara Lee, Jim would find out soon enough.

*

Meanwhile, Oswald and Ed were on their final drinks to close their already infamous dinner date.

"On a scale from one to ten," Ed mused, "how much did we piss off Jim this time?"

"I do believe we have set a new record. The scale might even need rescaling."

Ed snickered. "Poor Jimmy. It's a bit hard to catch a bank robber in the act, two weeks after the actual robbery."

Oswald smirked.

"X-rays really are expensive."

Oswald sighed histrionically. "My lover, the do-gooder."

Ed huffed. "I have built an entire clinic and staff with largely stolen money, nobody is any the wiser, and the whole city is cheering us on. Almost the whole underworld bows at your feet-"

" _Our_ feet."

"Our feet, the Narrows are _this_ close to accepting the Penguin as their king, and City Hall is incompetently waving their hands in frustration. Any _good_ I'm doing is entirely self-serving."

"Serving us."

"That is self-serving, Oswald." He sent his lover another look that the cameras would probably love, but his mind was only on the man in front of him. It was, after all, Valentine's Day.  
"I must admit, though," he added, "that I miss the dramatic entrances and the drama on big stages."

"Press conferences are not dramatic enough for you?"

"They lack flair."

"That is true," Oswald agreed, nodding sagely. "We make our own rules, though, so, why don't you add some personal flair yourself?"

Ed tilted his head. The thought had a certain appeal.

"You can still live out your full Riddler program on traitors who need being cut to ribbons," Oswald's voice lowered to a rumble by the end of the sentence. It sent a shiver through Ed and made a hungry grin appear on his face.

"Hm, yes. There is that. It's something to... savour."

"And I do so love watching you at work with those precise hands of yours."

They met in a promising but short kiss, their tongues only teasing.

"In fact," Oswald added, breathing Ed's air, "I have a gift waiting for you when we leave."

Ed's eyes darkened to almost black. "I love you," he growled, and it felt as if those were possibly the most dangerous words in his arsenal.

"And I you, my love." His lips twitched. "Shall we take our leave?"

"Yes, please," Ed said immediately and stood.

Oswald laughed and followed him.  
It was all there was to do.

**End**  
_20210120_

  
Artwork from my [RL tumblr](https://ursulakats.tumblr.com/post/640289608052228096/my-favourite-hug-on-film-ever-so-i-had-to-do-it). My fandom tumblr is [here](https://sorion.tumblr.com/). 


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